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Positive parenting and the Bible: Information, advice & help for parents on how to provide a nurturing home and build up their children. This study on
positive parenting shows how to be a positive parent—Free online Bible study has practical Christian advice with many Bible verses and guidelines.
Free online Bible study —Online Christian Bible studies and Bible verses for daily living |
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| Visit www.DougBrittonBooks.com . . . Practical biblical advice for men, women and children | |
(c) 2004 Doug Britton (Permission granted to print for personal use)
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).
(This study with verses and guidelines on positive Christian parenting is part of a series of online Bible studies on parenting. They are adapted from the book Successful Christian Parenting.) Many parents see discipline, punishment or chastisement as the key to successful parenting. But, although punishment sometimes is appropriate, a nurturing and supportive relationship is the key to success as a father or mother.
Paul described how mothers are supposed to act when he wrote: The father also is called on to be nurturing, gentle and loving—not gruff like an army drill sergeant. Paul described the way fathers are supposed to act when he wrote:
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Positive Parenting: How to Be a Positive Parent
Christian, Bible-Based Parenting Information and Advice
Be a positive parent: Provide nurture and support by focusing on the positive.
We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children (1 Thessalonians 2:7).
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12).
Be a positive parent: Catch your child being good.
Look for and comment on the positive.
Many parents specialize in instructing, ordering, nagging, criticizing, threatening and punishing—catching their children being "bad." That’s an easy trap to fall into, since you usually can find a lot to criticize. Yet look at what the Bible says about our words:
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life (Proverbs 10:11).
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21).
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).
Say words of praise throughout the day. Your praise can have a powerful, encouraging effect upon your children.
Remind yourself to praise. One idea: Tape notes that say "PC" (for "Praise Children") above each door in your home.
Be sure that at least 90% of your communication is positive (praise, encouragement or appreciation) or neutral (normal conversation).
Usually do not include criticism when you praise. Some parents frequently respond to their children’s efforts by saying they could have done more or better. This can be very discouraging. People with whom I counsel often tell me, "I never could please my parents." Train yourself to be a positive parent!
Do not expect perfection! If you do, your children will think they never are good enough and will carry a sense of inadequacy or fear of trying into adulthood.
Do not call your children names. Never say words along the lines of: "Where are your brains, you dummy?" "Baby." "Stupid." "Liar." "Thief." "Loser." "Cry baby." "I can't believe you did such an idiotic thing." "You're going to get pregnant, just like your aunt."
Establish a friendly, positive atmosphere during special times of the day.
When your children wake up: Greet them with friendly words.
Meals: Eat together as a family. Make meals fun. Turn off the TV and visit. Don't discuss personal problems (yours or your children's). Save these talks for private times. Teach basic manners, but do not turn your meals into a battleground over them. One idea: Have one "formal meal" a week when "company manners" are practiced.
Before and after school: Send your children off to school with friendly words. Likewise, greet them warmly when they return.
Bedtime: Develop routines. Spend time with your children after they go to bed. Have a friendly talk. Tell a story. Pray. Sing a song.
How did your parents’ words affect you? Although you shouldn't blame your current sins or problems on your background, you can learn from your parents’ mistakes, as well as from their successes. Ask yourself:
My parents were: Encouraging ___ Critical ___ Distant ___
How this affected me: _____________________________________________________________
How well do I focus on the positive with my children? My score (from 0 to 10): _____
("0" means, "I really need to improve at this." "10" means, "I do very well at this.")One thing I will work on today to be a more positive parent:
• Successful Christian Parenting
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