Extending Grace to Your Mate


Everyone experiences disappointments and unmet expectations in marriage. Learn how to respond wisely to your spouse’’s faults, graciously deal with disappointments, and appreciate ways your mate does things. Also discover how to conquer your anger and overcome jealousy and insecurity in this practical, Bible-based book.

This cross-cultural book is part of Doug Britton’s eight-book “Marriage by the Book” series. It can be read on its own or as part of the series.

Doug Britton, M.Ed., MFT. LifeTree Books. Paperback: 5½ x 8½. Wire “spiral” binding. 160 pages.


Choose a book cover from the multicultural cover set or the African-American cover set. (Inside pages are identical.)


Sooner or later, you will face an unpleasant question —

How can you live with a spouse who has flaws, someone different from the person of your dreams? How do you respond when the person who seemed so perfect when you were first married turns out to have habits that bother you? When the person who seemed to be an ideal Christian has imperfections? How do boundaries, forbearance, and forgiveness work in marriage?

What do you say when your spouse lets the car run out of gas or doesn’t remember your birthday? Or how do you deal with it when your husband or wife doesn’t wash the dishes, talks with a mouth full of food, interrupts when you are talking, or does something much more disappointing?

In this cross-cultural, Bible-based book, Doug Britton writes about a woman who was deeply disappointed with her marriage. When she and her husband were engaged, they had wonderful talks late into the night, right up to the day of their wedding. Then they married and the talks stopped. To her horror, he retreated into the living room night after night to watch TV. Their intimate talks were replaced by replays of TV sitcoms.

He also writes about a man facing a different type of disappointment in this practical, easy-to-read book. When Frank and his wife dated, he was amazed that such a beautiful woman would love him. He imagined the sensuous love life they would have, but once they married, she seemed more interested in talking with friends on the phone, or in cleaning the house, than in making love.


Solomon described the pain of unfulfilled expectations —

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon wrote: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12).

Each day of marriage can bring another crushed dream and more frustration, anger, bitterness, depression, or self pity.


You too may face the pain of unmet expectations in your marriage

You may be dealing with major disappointments with your husband or wife. Or you may handling minor frustrations or annoyances. Whatever your situation, take heart. You are not doomed to become a resentful, suffering martyr. The Bible provides solutions, and God offers us understanding and grace. Extending Grace to Your Mate shows practical ways to apply the truths of the Bible to your heart and in your marriage.

God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

As you read this Bible-based marriage book, you will learn practical steps to experience a joyful life regardless of your circumstances. You will learn how to experience God’’s grace in your marriage and how to cover your spouse’’s failures with your love.


In these pages, you will discover —

  • Bible-based help to grow in grace
  • When setting boundaries is appropriate
  • When forbearance and forgiveness are appropriate
  • The art of comforting your spouse in difficult times
  • How to appreciate the weird ways your husband or wife does things
  • What to do when you are disappointed with your spouse
  • How to know if you are asking too much of your mate
  • How to escape your pity parties
  • What to do when you get angry


This book is biblical, practical, and easy to read

“Make it personal” questions are scattered throughout Extending Grace to Your Mate to help you apply its Bible-based advice in your marriage. It is comprehensive, yet reader-friendly.

Memory verses invite action. Each chapter begins with a memory verse, since memorizing God’s word changes our hearts and helps us follow his ways.


It is ideal for individuals, couples, and small groups

You can read Extending Grace to Your Mate on your own, with your spouse, or in a small group. It is perfect for a six-week study.

Guidelines for small group leaders and discussion questions for each chapter are found at the back of the book. (Read more about using this book in a small group or church marriage ministry.)


This book is part of the “Marriage by the Book” series

You can study Extending Grace to Your Mate on its own. In addition, you may be interested in the other books in the “Marriage by the Book” series. Although these books bulid on each other, each book stands as a complete book by itself.

The eight books are —

  1. Laying a Solid Foundation
  2. Making Christ the Cornerstone
  3. Encouraging Your Spouse
  4. Extending Grace to Your Mate
  5. Talking with Respect and Love
  6. Improving Your Teamwork
  7. Putting Money in its Place
  8. Celebrating Intimacy and Romance


In this book you will learn how to live according to God’s Word. When you read it, you will discover it is:

Bible-based. This book is solidly Bible-based, with every chapter showing how to apply the Bible’s truths in your life.

Cross-cultural. Since the guidelines in this book are based on God’s Word, they apply to every group and culture.

Practical. Readers are given clear, practical steps they can take.

Reader-friendly. Many techniques — from a simple, straightforward writing style to breaking the text into small, easily digested portions — make the books easy to read.

Comprehensive. Numerous questions and dilemmas are anticipated — and answered.

Interactive. Personal application questions throughout the books get readers involved.

Action-oriented. Readers write action plans as they go through each chapter.

“Three-in-one” — great for small group studies.This book has all the information you would expect to find in three separate books:

  • Book — with practical, Bible-based information,
  • Workbook — with “personal application” questions scattered throughout each chapter.
  • Small group leader’s guide — with guidelines for small group leaders and chapter-by-chapter discussion questions at the end of the book.


Free shipping for orders over $25. Otherwise, there is a $3.50 charge for the first book, and $1.00 for each additional book. (Shipping is usually by USPS Priority Mail.)

20% Discount

Save 20% on orders over $50. Use coupon code “SAVE20” at checkout.


This book was written by Doug Britton, MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist). Doug, President of LifeTree Institute, has been a Bible-based Marriage and Family Therapist for over thirty years.

Doug has helped hundreds of thousands of people as a therapist, clinical director of a treatment center, seminar speaker, radio-co-host, and author of over twenty books that show people how to apply God’s truths in their daily lives.

He has also trained counselors, small group leaders, pastors, and mentors, showing them how to share practical, effective ways to apply the Word of God in all areas of life.

Doug has a Master’s Degree in Educational Psychology and has edited and published three professional publications. His wife Skeeter has been a homemaker, landscape designer, journalist and novelist. She also has taught marriage and parenting workshops, and holds degrees in English and Landscape Architecture.

Doug draws from his counseling experience and his own struggles and victories when he writes.

More importantly, he draws from the Word of God, offering readers Bible-based, practical, cross-cultural tools, insights, and guidelines they can use in their daily lives.

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