Celebrating Intimacy and Romance

Chapter 1:
Adopt God’s View of Sex

(Sample)

I am my lover’s and my lover is mine. (Song of Songs 6:3)

God designed marriage to be the most intimate of human relationships, a joining of body to body as well as soul to soul, a relationship surrounded by love. He intended sexual intimacy between a husband and wife to be pleasurable and fun for both.

God’s plan has not changed. He still wants our lovemaking to flow from an ongoing friendship and commitment to love for a lifetime.

God’s view of sex is different from the world’s view.
The wonderful sexual relationship that God intends for a husband and wife is vastly different from the sexuality we see in the world. The world sees sex as being about the same as scratching an itch—“if it feels good, just do it—and don’t worry about whether or not you are married.” God’s view is that sex provides a married man and woman a beautiful, pleasurable way to express and receive love.

Although God’s view of sex may seem similar to the world’s view in some ways, the experience is profoundly different. This can be illustrated by considering fire.

Fire is life-giving in some circumstances, yet it is life-threatening in others. If you were in the wilderness, you might welcome a campfire. You could stand near it to keep warm, and you could roast marshmallows over it. But if you were to encounter a forest fire, it would be an entirely different matter. You would fear for your life. Sex, like fire, can be delightful or destructive.

Make it personal
Write a prayer asking God to help you clearly see the difference between God’s view of sex and the world’s view:

The Bible’s Message

In this chapter, you will read what the Bible says about sex. As you will see, God describes the sexual relationship between husband and wife as something wonderful—something exhilarating, refreshing, and intoxicating—as well as a means of creating life.

If you find it difficult to read the following verses because you see sex as something unpleasant or wrong, don’t despair. God has an entirely different type of experience in mind for you than what you might have experienced in the past. He will help you substitute the pure for the impure.

Genesis
The Bible’s first words about marriage are recorded in Genesis. In this book, God defined marriage as a man and woman becoming “one flesh,” making it the most intimate of human relationships.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:23-24)

Proverbs
The book of Proverbs shows us that God intends our times of lovemaking to be exhilarating. In Chapter 5, the husband is encouraged to rejoice in his wife and enjoy her breasts.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)

Some Bible translations use different words for “captivated.” Re-read these verses, substituting the following words for “captivated”: “ravished” (King James Bible); “transported with delight” (Amplified Bible); “exhilarated” (New American Standard Bible). The New International Version Study Bible commentators suggest one more term: “intoxicated.”

Song of Songs
The Song of Songs (also known as the Song of Solomon) describes the love between a husband and wife in wonderful, sensuous terms.
Some Bible scholars disagree about who is being talked about in the Song of Songs. Others point out that Solomon, the author, eventually had many wives and concubines and did not provide an example of consistent, faithful love.

However, there is no question that the Song of Songs is part of the Bible, and that God is the ultimate author. The frankness and sexual imagery he used illustrate an exhilarating, intimate relationship between husband and wife.

As you read the following verses, notice that:

• The husband and wife are friends as well as lovers.
• Each person eagerly anticipates making love.
• Each desires to give the other pleasure.
• Each praises the other’s beauty.
• Each talks about their sexual relationship without inhibition.
• Each enjoys making love.

Chapter 1. The woman speaks: (2) Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. (16) How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.

Man: (15) How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

Chapter 2. Woman: (3) Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. (4) He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. (5) Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. (6) His left arm [“hand” in the King James, Revised Standard and Amplified Bibles] is under my head, and his right arm [or “hand”] embraces me. (16) My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies.